- My weight will fluctuate 20 to 30 pounds over the course of a year, and that's ok.
- I will always want french fries, preferably from McDonalds, and that's ok.
- I will never condition myself out of my love of fast food, and that's ok.
- In the realm of choices about eating, I will sometimes make bad choices, and that's ok.
- I will sometimes make bad choices for days or even weeks at a time, and that's ok.
- There are some foods that I cannot eat a reasonable portion of, and that's ok.
- Sometimes I will buy one of those foods and eat it all, and that's ok.
- A lot of the time, I will not buy those foods.
- A lot of the time, I will make good choices on my own without feeling like I'm being punished.
- A lot of the time, I will authentically enjoy a bowl of plain Greek yogurt with honey as much as a bowl of Sam's Choice Peanut Butter and Chocolate ice cream.
- Every single time, I will emerge from a period of bad choices that I have thoroughly enjoyed, on my own and in my own time, and go back to eating clean and exercising regularly.
Every. single. time.
Somehow, and I don't know how it happened, I'm done beating myself up over every indulgence, promising to do better next time when I know I won't if I don't feel like it. I'm done worrying about what the scale says and paying more attention to what my body is telling me instead. It feels amazing to know that, even wrist deep in a half-gallon of gelato, eventually, tomorrow or next week, I'll be craving healthy alternatives and heading to the gym with enthusiasm.
To break the chain and feel the weight of the years and years of guilt and anxiety about food lifting off me, knowing that I can trust myself -- that's more than ok. That's freedom.
And just for fun, here's picture from one of my performances last month, in my newest costume, rockin' the peacock-mermaid look: